It’s the Christmas season and, though Christmas will look differently this year for most of us, it’s still a time that tends to bring up a lot of emotions, especially when we’re living with unresolved conflict.

Therefore, if we want to lead ourselves well with high levels of self awareness, it’s important we check in with ourself and ask: What are the stories currently running through my head about myself and about others or about the person directly in front of me?

(Of course, if you want to run off the rails all season, you’re free to pass this suggestion by, but I don’t recommend that!)

We live in this quick-to-offend, cancel culture that lends itself to quickly picking up internal scripts that are often harmful for our soul and for our relationships with others.

The stories we tell ourselves are the grid through which our behavior happens.

She’s so… He’s so… I’m so… Therefore…

Do you see where I’m going with that?

I’d encourage you to set some time aside this week or to pause when you find yourself reacting in a conversation and ask: What’s the internal script that’s happening right now? Is it accurate? If it’s not, then ask yourself a question to get yourself on the right track.

Maralee Adams in her book, Change Your Questions Change Your Life, calls these switcher questions. They’re meant to get you off the wrong path and onto the right one. I mean really, how many of us actually want to get stuck in the mud and mire and false narratives of life?

Here are a couple switcher question suggestions:

• How might I look at this situation differently?

• What assumptions and I making?

• What am I missing or avoiding?

• What do I really want?

• How can I handle this in a way that when I lay my head down tonight I don’t have any regrets?

Questions can be a powerful tool to yank us from the place we are but don’t want to be, to a more flourishing place.

Check your internal scripts, friend, and you may just save yourself a whole lot of stress and anxiety this holiday season.

Until next time,

Carmen

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